Why People Hate Romance Books

So, was helping out YABS with the Raise-a-Reader book drive last week (and you wouldn't think sorting through thousands of dusty, sometimes-smelly books would be so much fun, but it was a blast), and I came across a pile of romance books...I also came across a TON of NY Times best-selling authors, which just goes to prove: no matter how successful you are, there will always be people who don't like your work. Anyway, back to the romance books, and you know, sometimes the characterizations/plots just make me want to hurl. For you consideration:

1. The "they couldn't get along, fought all the time, until a night of passion changed everything." Yes, that's right ladies. You want a man to like you? Have sex with him.
2. The "with a smothered oath, he took her in his arms, kissing her passionately, fiercely, violently. She cried out and tried to break away but he only increased his onslaught. The fires began to burn in her and she succumbed to him." Yup. Because nothing says "I love you" like forced sexual contact.
3. How about the one where they hook up after YEARS of not seeing each other, have sex, and then she realizes she's pregnant. Yeah, because that's the message I want to send to my female students: Girls, it doesn't matter if you haven't seen your ex in three years. Go ahead and have unprotected sex. What's the worst that can happen?
4. Or the one where he "loves" her, they sleep together and then he finds out she's the one who destroyed his sister's marriage by having an affair with his brother-in-law (don't fret. OF COURSE she didn't have an affair. These women are paragons of virtue who never do anything wrong. They don't have affairs, they don't need to wear make-up. Heck, I'll bet they don't even fart). Does the hero ASK her about her side of the story? Does he confront her? Of course not. He tosses her out of bed, then publicly humiliates her. Ahh, love.
5. In a similar vein, there's the one where she surprises him at home, only to--gasp--find another woman in his bed. Does she march into the shower, turn the cold water on him, and demand an explanation? Say it with me, OF COURSE NOT, she runs away and marries some other guy, not because she loves him, but because he's dying and she's doing him a favor.

At this point, quite frankly, I wish they'd all die and do me a favor. Five books, five vomit-worthy plot lines/characters. Excuse me while I go find some Gravol.