Brown's Town

I’ve Moved

2011-05-19T07:49:00.001-06:00

This site is now at Natasha Deen. Join me there for writings, ramblings, and the other assorted insanity of a ninja-in-training…

Tuesday Technique

2011-05-17T13:20:00.001-06:00

We hear all the time, show don’t tell, but in reality, sometimes we need to tell. IF we’re being all poetic, artistic, and vibrant about everything, I think we wear-out the reader.

So, when do we show, and when do we tell?

Show: Emotional moments, plot turning moments, climaxes, moments of intense discovery.

Tell: Trivial details, transitional moments, stuff that doesn’t really matter, stuff that does matter (but you don’t want the reader to realize it just yet).

Help Toby Hit #1!

2011-05-17T07:23:00.001-06:00

Toby has captured the hearts and imagination of Hollywood, and is now warming up the hearts of children and adults alike across North America. Please help Toby today – it is for a great cause and a fantastic story that needs to be shared. Order On Toby’s Terms TODAY! www.ontobysterms.com

Mechanical Monday: Active Verbs

2011-05-16T16:14:00.001-06:00

Active verbs are self-explanatory. They’re the verbs that exercise regularly, eat a balanced meal, and get eight hours of sleep every night…no, wait…I’m mixing up my notes with my doctor’s orders.

Seriously, though, active verbs create action. The past two weeks we’ve been talking about tenses, and if you put those together, you get a sense of action, so choose your verbs & your actions carefully.

Consider:

I was sleeping when the loud bang woke me up.

versus

The loud bang woke me up.

We’re saying the same thing in both sentences, but the arrangement of the action gets the attention.

Book Launch–Gail Sidonie Sobat

2011-05-16T08:46:00.001-06:00

Friday Furry

2011-05-14T06:15:00.001-06:00

I don’t know how I managed it, but I’ve ruined my cats. Absolutely, totally ruined. Neither of them will actually forage for food anymore. Go to their food dish by themselves? Nope. They come into the office instead, and yowl at me until I take them to the dish and watch them eat the first few bites.

Is it a bonding thing? A way for them to assert their dominance (pfft. Like their authority was ever in question). I’m not sure. I haven’t had a chance to contemplate—G.T. has been making too much noise, laughing his head off, for me to have the required silence for such deep thought.

Thursday Time

2011-05-13T11:04:00.001-06:00

We’re talking about time (and our great lack of it). When it comes to writing a book, 300 pages can seem like A LOT.

It is.

But you’re not writing 300 pages.

You’re writing 1.

Writing a novel is a big job, but if you break it down to “one page at a time” it’ll get done, and if you only write one page a day, you’ll still have a novel completed in a year.

Win a Copy of Sneakers, Sandals & Stilettoes

2011-05-11T08:00:00.001-06:00

Head to this link, enter a comment, and have your name entered to win a book or e-copy of Sneakers, Sandals & Stilettoes: Fairy-Tales for the Well-Heeled Princess. Contest closes May 31, 2011.

Technique Tuesday

2011-05-10T16:01:00.001-06:00

So, last week, we were talking about using description. The question is: once you figure out what description you want, how do you add it in?

It’s an important question because I’ve put down books where the authors (who are delightful writers, mind you) have characters walking into a room, doing a dead-stop, and then giving me a rundown of the room that is so detailed, it’d make Martha Stewart applaud.

Sometimes, you’ll want to do the dead stop. If your character walks into a room and finds a dead body, for sure, I want every detail. But if you want to tell me about the shoes my character is wearing, toss it in with some dialog or action.

“Brewster wants the files by the end of the day.” Mandy flopped into the chair and peeled the stilettoes from her throbbing feet.

This way, you get the information is across but it’s subtle.

Mechanical Monday: Spelling of “ing” and “ed” Verbs

2011-05-09T12:44:00.001-06:00

Came across this super cool chart that’s a godsend for those of us who have trouble spelling (credit to Betty Schrampfer Azar):

Verbs that end in a consonant & “e” (hope)
- ING – drop the “e” and add “ing” (hoping)
- ED – add “d” (hoped)
Verbs that end in a vowel and consonant AND are one-syllable (stop):
- ING – duplicate the consonant and add “ing” (stopping)
- ED – duplicate the consonant and add “d” (stopped)
Verbs that end in two vowels and consonant AND are one-syllable (rain):
- ING – add “ing” (raining)
- ED – add “d” (rained)
Verbs that end in two consonants (start):
- ING – add “ing” (starting)
- ED – add “d” (started)
Verbs that end in “y” and a vowel is before the “y” (pray):
- ING – add “ing” (praying)
- ED – add “d” (prayed)
Verbs that end in “y” and a consonant is before the “y” (study):
- ING – add “ing” (studying)
- ED – change the “y” to an “ie” and add “d” (studied)
Verbs that end in “ie” (lie):
- ING – change “ie” to “y” and add “ing” (lying)
- ED – add “d” (lied)

This is going to take some time to memorize, but as a chart/list, it all seems so easy and makes sense…

Thursday Time

2011-05-05T12:52:00.001-06:00

Time. It’s the great equalizer, isn’t it? No matter how rich, poor, successful you are, when it comes to time, we’re all in the same “There’s not enough of it” boat.

Especially for authors. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything—and for those of us in the beginning of our career, we’re the only employee in our company. This is when the 3Ds come into place: Delegate, Do, or Delay.

You can’t write and edit and promote and market and ship and research and do it all in one day. So, start by asking yourself: what is the priority? If your editor needs your manuscript by Friday, that’s a priority.

Do it.

Research can wait.

Delay it.

And if there’s anything you can help on (like getting your kids to help you make/cut your bookmarks) then delegate it.

Wednesday Woe: When I Put It Down

2011-05-04T08:41:00.001-06:00

The problem with being a writer is that you start reading with an eye toward research—how is the author putting together their story? It makes for great reading when the book is tightly woven, not so great when I’m shaking the pages trying to make sense of a plot or character.

For example, reading a cozy with a male sleuth and it’s all well and good until he starts hitting on one girl. Which is fine—until he makes a move on the sister (on the next page!). That’s when I put it down.

I get the author was trying to make him into a Bond-esque figure, but the character just came across like a slime ball (and I’m sure even Bond would draw the line at making out with sisters).

Technique Tuesday

2011-05-03T07:53:00.002-06:00

A common mistake we authors make in our writing is spending too much time on trivial descriptions. You know what I mean, we wax poetic about the way the clouds drift across the sky, or how the wind blows through the trees.

Description is currency and we want to spend it wisely.

If your story takes place in the middle of a snowstorm, then yes, spend time on your setting because (I’m guessing) the characters will be struggling with the weather, and thus, nature becomes a character within your story.

But if your protagonist is just walking from point A to point B, then give us enough information to know where we are, but don’t take two paragraphs to tell us the sun was shining.

Mechanical Monday: Verb Tenses

2011-05-02T12:18:00.001-06:00

In the spirit that the best way to learn something is to teach it, and in dire need of a grammar refresher, I’ve decided to make Mondays “Grammar Day.” I’m hoping blogging will remind me about punctuation, etc., and help tighten my drafts.

Today, we take on the tenses. (which seems only fitting since it’s voting day and I’m definitely tense about that).

There are four tenses: simple, progressive, perfect, and perfect progressive, and they apply to the past, present, and future.

PRESENT

Simple Present: I walk.
Present Progressive: I am walking.
Present Perfect: I have already walked.
Present Perfect Progressive: I have already been walking for two hours.

PAST

Simple Past: I walked last night.
Past Progressive: I was walking last night…
Past Perfect: I had already walked…
Past Perfect Progressive: I had been walking for two hours…

FUTURE

Simple Future: I will walk tomorrow.
Future Progressive: I will be walking tomorrow.
Future Perfect: I will have walked for two miles before I come to the bridge.
Future Perfect Progressive: I will have been walking for two hours before I come to the bridge.

Okay, near as I can figure it, the Simple & Perfect are all about stuff that’s completed. It’s happened and it’s done. I walked. I had already walked. I will have walked.

The Progressives are about stuff that’s still going on. I am walking. I was walking. I will have been walking.

Clues about which tense you’re in:

The verb “to have” (I have, she has, he had) – it comes up in both the Perfect and Perfect Progressives. So how do you know which is which?
- Perfect Progressive also has “to be” (i.e., been) in it: I have been walking, I had already been walking, I will have been walking.
- Also, the Perfect Progressive has a bit extra—like a time reference, and extra information. Compare:
  - I had already walked for two miles. (Perfect)
  - I have already been walking for two miles BEFORE MY ANKLE BROKE. (Perfect Progressive).

How does this help with your writing. By knowing which tense you’re in, you can create tighter scenes/more immediacy within your description. If your character had already walked forty miles and then her ankle broke, that’s one thing. But if she’s still walking and then her ankle breaks, well crud, now what? She’s injured but there’s a giant Cyclops coming up behind her. She can’t stop. So, how is she going to get to her place of safety with a broken ankle?

Now, you’re creating a question for the reader and encouraging them to read on.

Plus, the more precise you are in space and time, the more you ground your reader in the reality of your story.

Ask a Question, Add a Comment, and Win!

2011-05-01T06:55:00.001-06:00

Visit The Romance Review’s interview with me, enter a comment/ask a question and have your name entered to win a copy of Sneakers, Sandals & Stilettoes: Fairy-Tales for the Well-Heeled Princess.

Comment and Win!

2011-04-29T07:19:00.001-06:00

Visit my guest post at The Long and Short of It Reviews, leave a comment, and you’ll be entered to win a Kindle, Nook, or $150 gift card!

Give Me Chocolate & Give Me Strength

2011-04-26T14:01:00.001-06:00

Walking the furry ones, when Murphy decides to gulp some moldy poop. Do the “hey!” command to which he spits out the poop. As I turn away, he gulps it back. Another “Hey!” and it’s out again…except it starts wriggling. ACK! Not poop, just some poor little vole who’s all stunned and traumatized that he almost became dinner.

Go home. Am in the midst of making breakfast when I hear a horrific—HORRIFIC—scream from Remus. Dash into the hallway. He and Gus were play fighting and he’s got his paw twisted in one of the wrought iron decorative thingies, and—AND—he’s got himself twisted around, so I can’t even tell which paw is caught. Gorgeous Terrific helped me free our furry child, but seriously, I want to put them all in tiny, little bubbles.

Why People Hate Romance Books

2011-04-17T07:33:00.001-06:00

So, was helping out YABS with the Raise-a-Reader book drive last week (and you wouldn't think sorting through thousands of dusty, sometimes-smelly books would be so much fun, but it was a blast), and I came across a pile of romance books...I also came across a TON of NY Times best-selling authors, which just goes to prove: no matter how successful you are, there will always be people who don't like your work. Anyway, back to the romance books, and you know, sometimes the characterizations/plots just make me want to hurl. For you consideration:

The "they couldn't get along, fought all the time, until a night of passion changed everything." Yes, that's right ladies. You want a man to like you? Have sex with him.
The "with a smothered oath, he took her in his arms, kissing her passionately, fiercely, violently. She cried out and tried to break away but he only increased his onslaught. The fires began to burn in her and she succumbed to him." Yup. Because nothing says "I love you" like forced sexual contact.
How about the one where they hook up after YEARS of not seeing each other, have sex, and then she realizes she's pregnant. Yeah, because that's the message I want to send to my female students: Girls, it doesn't matter if you haven't seen your ex in three years. Go ahead and have unprotected sex. What's the worst that can happen?
Or the one where he "loves" her, they sleep together and then he finds out she's the one who destroyed his sister's marriage by having an affair with his brother-in-law (don't fret. OF COURSE she didn't have an affair. These women are paragons of virtue who never do anything wrong. They don't have affairs, they don't need to wear make-up. Heck, I'll bet they don't even fart). Does the hero ASK her about her side of the story? Does he confront her? Of course not. He tosses her out of bed, then publicly humiliates her. Ahh, love.
In a similar vein, there's the one where she surprises him at home, only to--gasp--find another woman in his bed. Does she march into the shower, turn the cold water on him, and demand an explanation? Say it with me, OF COURSE NOT, she runs away and marries some other guy, not because she loves him, but because he's dying and she's doing him a favor.

At this point, quite frankly, I wish they'd all die and do me a favor. Five books, five vomit-worthy plot lines/characters. Excuse me while I go find some Gravol.

Interview with Novel Sisterhood

2011-04-14T19:15:00.001-06:00

http://novelsisterhood.blogspot.com/2011/04/please-welcome-natasha-deen-to-ns-blog.html

Stand Aside, Taio Cruz

2011-04-12T15:13:00.001-06:00

Visiting my niece (2 yrs old) and nephew (4 yrs old) and one of the best parts is listening to them sing along with the music...I've heard such classics as "Black to Life" (otherwise known as "Back to Life" from Soul II Soul)* and Taio Cruz's "Dynamite." Although, Cruz sings that "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying AYO gotta let go" whereas my niece and nephew have (in my opinion) drastically bettered the song lyrics with "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying Eggo, gotta leggo." *Proving adaptation is, in this case, the grandmother of invention, my mother (who's never heard the original song) has decided it's "Black to White" a skillful melding of MJ and SIIS that will one day rock the music world.

AWESOME!

2011-04-05T21:13:00.001-06:00

My cover for my newest release: What Happens in Vegas

It Makes Me Feel Weird

2011-04-04T19:27:00.001-06:00

Just saw an ad for Kate & William—the love story as told by the Lifetime channel. And hey, I’m a romantic, but if I have my facts straight, the future king & queen delayed the marriage because of they’d lose their privacy…so, now, to celebrate this Love for the Ages, we’re going to violate their privacy by making a movie and exploiting the most intimate moments of their courtship…man, I need a shower ‘cause that just makes me feel dirty…

Things I’ve Learned

2011-04-03T20:59:00.001-06:00

Been down & out with the flu/cold for 10 days (and counting) and here’s the top 5 things I’ve learned:

Love is love, but in a war between you, pillow space, and your dogs, the dogs will win. Lower center of gravity, not afraid to head butt, & they’re not reaching for tissues at the same time they’re trying to win the pillow.
No matter how many Peanut M & Ms you eat, they will not take away your cold, and you won’t respect yourself in the morning.
Benadryl makes you crave sugar (like 2 bags worth of chocolate).
There is no lady-like way to sneeze, although you will win the respect of all the men in the house by sneezing 14 times in a row.
Writing while stoned on meds only seems like a good idea at the time. Upon reflection, spending three hours to write: “And then she discovered something that turned the case on its side because she realized the something clue held the answer to the whatsit puzzle” really only sounds good in your head.

Some Days…

2011-03-29T07:20:00.001-06:00

The only thing that will chase away the blahs is disco. I’m stayin’ alive and putting on my boogie shoes (and doing the shuffle very far away from the cats & dogs—for some reason, my dancing scares them…

Google Books Amended Settlement Agreement Rejected

2011-03-24T08:55:00.001-06:00

On March 22, 2011, Circuit Judge Chin, of the United States District Court of New York, denied the motion for final approval of the Google Books Amended Settlement Agreement ("ASA") concluding that the ASA is not "fair, adequate and reasonable."

The court recognized that the digitization of books and the creation of a universal digital library would benefit many. However, the ASA goes too far by granting Google significant rights to exploit entire books without the permission of the copyright owners.

The court expressed concern that under the ASA, if copyright owners do nothing (ie. do not opt-out), they lose their rights. "It is incongruous with the purpose of the copyright laws to place the onus on copyright owners to come forward to protect their rights when Google copied their works first without seeking their permission." Moreover, "the ASA would give Google a significant advantage over competitors, rewarding it for engaging in wholesale copying of copyrighted works without permission, while releasing claims well beyond those presented in this case." The court also highlighted the impact of the ASA on foreign rightsholders.

We will continue to update our affiliates as (and if) this matter progresses.

The full court decision can be found here: http://www.nysd.uscourts.gov/cases/show.php?db=special&id=115.

According to Chapters…

2011-03-23T08:56:00.001-06:00

I’m used and rare. They’re talking about Ethan’s Chase, however, if they reversed the terms, it’s an accurate assessment of my brain: rarely used.

Keep Your Tail Up

2011-03-21T17:51:00.001-06:00

Was watching an episode of the Dog Whisperer, and Cesar Milan was dealing with a skittish/nervous/fearful dog. As a matter of rehab, he held the dog’s tail up, saying, “In the psychology of dogs, the high tail means confidence and dominance. If we hold his tail up, we get the brain working in that direction.”

And it got me thinking about how they say if you’re feeling sad/upset to smile for thirty seconds because it will help reset your brain.

Funny how alike humans and dogs really are.

I guess, some days (like today, when it’s been cloudy and snowy and just an ughy kind of day), you just have to keep your tail up and smile.

Ethan’s Chase Gets Four Starts

2011-03-19T21:56:00.001-06:00

The Reading Reviewer gave EC four stars and said, “This books hits on all levels of love, mystery and a touch of espionage…A wonderful read for a quiet afternoon with a cup of tea and your laptop turned off!”

The Genie’s Curse–Trailer

2011-03-18T14:35:00.001-06:00

Buy your paperback copy of Sneakers, Sandals & Stilettoes: Fairy-Tales for the Well-Heeled Princess or buy it on Kindle. Have a Kobo or other reading device, then head here and upload your copy—enter coupon code YY27M and get 25% off your purchase (Kindle readers, too!)

So…

2011-03-15T06:47:00.001-06:00

If you accidentally brush your arm with your hair--and because it’s dark and late at night, you think it’s some kind of spider crawling up your arm—and scream like a two-year-old, can you still call yourself a superhero in training and count the incident as a training exercise?

What the Wha-Wha?

2011-03-14T19:02:00.001-06:00

Okay, I realize I’m not the target demographic for Katy Perry, but I just have to say the “Firework” video creeps me out. I get the whole “There’s a firework of spirit living inside of you,” but honestly, seeing things exploding from people’s chests is just disconcerting. Explode above them, explode in a circle, dude, I’m there, but from their chest? Visions of Aliens, thanks…aliens taken over by fairies who will eat us or force us to work under the rainbow…and uh, yeah, great for the kid in the video who decides he doesn’t want to stand idly by while the dad abuses the mom, but showing him starting a fight with the dad? That’s just irresponsible. The kid’s going to get beaten—don’t directors read up on statistics and articles on domestic abuse before they start filming Public Service Videos?

And while I’m at it, kudos to the dudes who created the new marketing for Pop-Tarts. Love the CGI guys, but there’s NO mother or father in the world that thinks Pop Tarts is part of a balanced breakfast.

Okay, rant over.

I Feel Good!

2011-03-14T13:57:00.001-06:00

Whoo-Hoooo!

After a TOO LONG period where the writing was painful, slow, and rare, finally hit seven—count ‘em, SEVEN—pages today!

Crossing my fingers and hoping this means the drought is over!

Ethan’s Chase Get 4 Stars

2011-03-07T07:45:00.001-07:00

The Romance Review just gave Ethan’s Chase four stars and said, “Take a "trifecta of gorgeous men", a lovely leading lady and some hair-raising suspense and you have a great romantic suspense set in the big city. Bronwyn Storm excels in writing outstanding characters--characters that draw you into the plot and don't let you go until their tale is done. Get a nice warm drink, a comfy chair and settle yourself in for a great book that you can't put down until it's done.”

How Cool is That?

2011-03-05T06:24:00.001-07:00

Susan Kuchinskas included me in her article on the crazy things we do for cat love.

Of Komodo Dragons and Men

2011-03-04T14:27:00.001-07:00

Been watching BBC’s Life series and there’s a section where Komodo dragons kill a water buffalo. Now, for those who haven’t seen it, they bite the buffalo and because the dragon’s bite is venomous, the buffalo dies.

In three weeks.

During this time, a pack of dragons follow the buffalo everywhere.

The same creepy feeling I get when watching the dragons waiting/following the buffalo and waiting for it to die is the same creepy feeling I get whenever the media mentions their “Charlie Sheen” watch.

Only difference: the dragons are doing it for survival and they’re not getting off on the buffalo’s pain.

I don’t know if I can say the same thing for both the people filming Sheen or those watching.

Charles Said it Best

2011-03-02T16:18:00.001-07:00

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of madness, it was the age of reason. It was…..me, trying to get three pages of writing done.

You’re invited!

2011-02-28T11:26:00.001-07:00

From March 1 – 31, 2011

at http://www.theromancereviews.com

It’s The Romance Reviews’ Grand Opening!

Play the games. Explore new books.

Chat with authors. Vote for Best Books of 2010.

Rack up your points!

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Visit everyday to increase your chances to win awesome prizes!

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PRIZES

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$10 Gift Cards – 32 winners!

(8 winners each week)

Over 150 Book Giveaways in total

(paperback, hardback, ebook)

Major Prizes

Grand Prize: $100 Gift Card

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For Authors

(based on results of book votes)

Grand Prize: $200 TRR Advertising Package

2^nd Prize: $100 TRR Advertising Package

3^rd Prize: $50 TRR Advertising Package

Stop the Insanity

2011-02-23T12:01:00.001-07:00

So, for the past three special occasions, my husband’s bought me these cards that LOOK like there’s a bookmark attached on the front. It’s only after I’ve ripped it off that I realize, “Eek. Nope. Just a decoration. Not an innovative bookmark-included design from the card companies.”

And I thought I’d gotten better about not, y’know, destroying these cards…

Just mangled another one. But honestly, TOTALLY looked like a bookmark attached and I really thought THIS TIME, it was a new design.

Urk. Sorry honey…although, it does make a nice page-holder.

You know You’re in Trouble…

2011-02-20T13:41:00.001-07:00

when your own writing is putting you to sleep.

Dear Cell Phone Company,

2011-02-15T21:06:00.001-07:00

I realize I’m not in your target audience and I’m sure your ad was meant tongue in cheek. But in the same way we’d all be horrified if a rope company made an ad that marketed its product based on how well it would tie and restrain a rape victim, I’m completely repulsed by you using a stalker to market your apps.

Stalking isn’t a joke. It’s mental assault, emotional rape. The countless women who have died because the law cannot protect them aren’t a punch line, nor should their situation be something that’s made light of—especially to your target audience of 12-19 year-old teenagers.

Shame on you and the idiotic advertising firm that came up with that disgusting ad.

Sob

2011-02-13T16:06:00.001-07:00

Ugh. Just looked over the first-twenty-nine pages of my latest work in progress…at some point, I must have been so hopped up on caffeine and sugar that I created another language, because I can’t read half of what I wrote.

Join Me

2011-02-07T21:33:00.002-07:00

on Breakfast Television tomorrow, from 7-8 a.m.

See part of the segment, here.

Plots I Hate

2011-02-05T05:45:00.001-07:00

Seriously, if I have to see one more “boy leaves girl because she had a relationship with his brother years before she met him,” I’m going to vomit.

So not kidding.

Who writes this crap? I mean, really, she DIDN’T know the hero years ago—how the heck was she supposed to know she was dating his brother?!

This kind of premise always has a faintly misogynistic feel to me. When’s the last time you saw a man being dumped by the girl because he dated her sister five years ago? Oh, right, NEVER.

What’s a woman to do? Say, “Oh, Brad, I’d love to date you, but could I meet all of your family right now, just in case you have a brother/cousin/uncle that I might find more attractive than you, or that I may date in five years. I’d hate to ruin that relationship by seeing you.”

*Grumble*

What kind of insecure twat puts a woman on the cross for decisions she made (in the name of love and happiness, no less!) years ago? Or months ago?

I could see the guy walking away if she was dating him and his brother at the same time, but really, when she didn’t know about the Hero? Give me a break.

This just has too many shades of subtle repression, of woman as objects and not persons unto themselves for me to do anything but sneer in contempt.

You May Need to Call it a Day

2011-01-26T14:58:00.001-07:00

…when you dial a number then forget who the heck you’re calling after three rings…

On Breakfast Television

2011-01-19T18:13:00.001-07:00

Find me on Breakfast Television tomorrow, from 8:15-8:20, as I talk about dreams and their meaning.

I Think…

2011-01-12T10:36:00.001-07:00

my trip to the library would have been faster if I hadn’t tried using my Shopper’s Drugstore card to check out at the self-service kiosk…

Why Do…

2011-01-10T11:15:00.001-07:00

Why do my cats wait until my tea is hot and my food is ready, to throw up a hairball—right in front of me?

Why do my dogs choose the precise moment I’m falling asleep to hop on the bed and use me as a trampoline?

Why does a pharmaceutical company hawking their lasted medication (by using phrases like, “Now, they see me as a champion,” but never actually tell the viewer—1) What the medication is 2) What it does 3) What it's side-effects are) totally creep me out?

Why doesn’t the city call a snow day when the drifts on people’s lawns are higher than the people?

Why is it, in almost every cop show, it’ll be bright daylight, but as soon as they have to go an arrest the subject, it suddenly turns to night?

And why do they never turn on the lights but just use flashlights? I mean, doesn’t that totally make them a target?

Why can four cops take down fourteen bad guys (in these shows) and never have a fatality or a wound, but all the bad guys are dead?

Why does Jessica Fletcher never suffer from writer’s block, and why has no one really wondered about her being the common denominator in every murder?

Why does my Wii tell me my ideal weight is 3 kg heavier, then berate me when I gain weight?

And finally, why oh why, won’t this latest manuscript just write itself?

Sunday Thoughts

2011-01-09T07:11:00.001-07:00

Watched the A-Team and I have to say this: I’m a romance writer. By my very profession, I come up with insane and creative ways to get my characters kissing, but never, NEVER IN MY LIFE have I EVER conceptualized a scene where the hero throws up and then makes out with the heroine. I don’t even know the words for that (other than “EWW!”).

In other news, I’ve come to the conclusion that writing a novel is a lot like shoveling a driveway. You look outside and there’s all this area to clear, so you put in the effort, huffing and sweating and pulling your back just to make the driveway tidy.

This is just like writing. You wake up to a mess of ideas/plots/characters/settings and you sweat your way through drafts and edits, until you finally have a polished manuscript.

Then you go to bed, content and satisfied, then wake up the next morning to another huge dump of snow that you have to shovel your way through.

Of course…I may just be saying all this because I’m trying not to weep at the huge drifts on my driveway or the fact that the snow on the lawn is now taller than I am…

YES!!

2011-01-08T08:40:00.001-07:00

Whoo-Hoo! Ethan’s Chase is now on order at the Edmonton Public Library. This is awesomely cool, because when you’re with a small publisher, it’s very hard to get listed in catalogs!

Yee-ha. Great way to start a Saturday—almost makes me forget the insane amount of snow waiting to be pushed off my driveway.

Top Ten

2011-01-06T06:47:00.001-07:00

Just finished watching The Expendables, and I now have ten reasons I’d want to be a man in a traditional (as opposed to something like Rundown or Lara Croft:Tomb Raider) action movie:

You can get blown up and the only injury is a scratch above your forehead.
You have a cool hangout, complete with tattoo artist, beer, and bikes.
You can disappear for months at a time, never phone your girlfriend, but that’s okay because you love her and she should know that.
It’s okay if a woman points a gun at you. She’s secretly attracted to you and not only will you get the gun from her, but she won’t mind if you kiss her.
Pithy one-liners.
Even if you’re beaten to a pulp, you’ll still have enough manly strength to be the one who saves the day by a well-placed bomb or gunfire.
The bad guys can never seriously wound you, but you’ll always manage to kill them.
If you stay to arm the bomb or do some other act of self-sacrifice, a miracle will happen, and you’ll live (the bad guys in the building with you, however, will not be so lucky).
If you’re the girl, you never know how to handle a gun, and even if you end up holding a gun, you never shoot it—it’s always wrenched from you hand.
If you’re the girl, it doesn’t matter if you’re the leader of the rebel troop or have been waging war for years. When push comes to shove, you won’t be able to do anything but hold the hero’s hand and let him lead you to safety (ditto on the requisite violation-by-the-bad-guys scene. You can’t save yourself. You’ll only be able to whimper and hope/pray the hero rescues you (which he will…then probably, he’ll kiss you, because bombs and gunfire don’t matter when it comes to love)).

Almost Christmas

2010-12-23T08:47:00.001-07:00

Last night, I was composing this post in my head, and I had so much to say…now, for the life of me, I can’t remember much of anything…

The “Required Rest” continues, and I’m driving everyone crazy because I’m bored out of my mind. On the bright side, I’ve gone back to baking and have made some delicious chocolate-chip-pecan cookies, and almost perfected my fatayer recipe…on the bad side, still not satisfied with my tiropitas…

Rented a Wii last night, so expect updates from the hospital, shortly.

On the really cool side, this is the first year I’ve ever seen winter rainbows. Seen about four of them since November, and feel like it’s God saying to all us, “Hang on! 2011 will be better!” or at the very least, “spring’s coming and don’t worry, no global flooding. Promise.”

Yesterday, though, was the first time I’ve ever seen the whole rainbow. Usually, you see an arc going off into the distance, but this time I saw almost the whole ring…gave the dog walk a real sci-fi feel:

It’s not the greatest picture (took it from my phone), but see the ring around the sun? That’s actually the rainbow…and while it looks vertical in the photo, in reality it was almost horizontal—kind of like a wreath or crown…anyway, I decided to take it as an omen that perhaps I should pull my head out of my ass.

What else? Y’know, there’s not much going on—just me trying to be Zen and relax (when all I really want to do is sit with those pages).

Molly’s Reviews Gives Ethan’s Chase 4 Stars!

2010-12-17T07:32:00.001-07:00

“Bronwyn Storm has got some WOWmazing talent! She captured me instantly with this awesome novel of laughter, suspense and romance all rolled into one awesome roller coaster ride of a book! It totally left me breathless by the end!”

See the full review, here.

UnS.A.D: Day 3

2010-12-16T16:53:00.001-07:00

So…yesterday, in an attempt to do something I wouldn’t normally do, I photoshoped an image of my face on to Jack Sparrow’s body…before you think I’ve totally lost my mind, it had to do with friends recommending Avast anti-virus software, and my saying that every time I hear ‘avast’ I want to wear a billowy white shirt, hold a sword in my mouth, and pillage a town…so emails turn to challenges and suddenly Johnny Depp and I are sharing a body.

I was to do a Columbo marathon, but it didn’t work out…I’ll be snookered if I can remember why, but I think it had to do with…crud. Seriously can’t remember why it didn’t pan out…

I thought I’d do it today (complete with staying in my p.js), but then I woke up with a cracking cold and spent the day downing small, pink pills…I ended up in the p.js until noon because I was too tired and sick to do anything energetic like change…but the weird thing is that being in night-clothing because I’m sick and not because I wanted to, stirs up these odd rebellious feelings. So, I showered and changed—to prove a point to who, I have no clue—and this only furthers my deep conviction that I am a rebel without a clue.

Today, I tried to do some reading…went to the library a couple of days ago and picked up some books. Elle’s Frog Prince is still hitting all the right places on my funny bone…but I’m sorry to say, the other books just didn’t do it for me. One I put down after page eight (I just couldn’t get into the story) and the other, I think I made to page twenty before calling it quits.

I thought, perhaps, it was the age of the books—y’know, that they’re over two years old and the writing is different. But that doesn’t wash. One book is 2010, the other is 2003, but I’m reading Agatha Christie right now, and we all know how old she is.

Then I thought it was because I was sick, but the third book I picked up, really sang…it’s not really the style or type of book I normally read, so I wasn’t glued to my seat or flipping pages like a maniac, but it was beautiful and I loved the characters…

The interesting thing I’m finding is how much I miss the writing. Not because I have a deadline or because of any external factor. I miss it because I miss it, the way you miss a friend. I think I needed to know that, to realize the love of writing hasn’t been dulled by due dates or bad pages…

The other thing is the renewed happiness of finding words. There are just some fabulous words out there, and I’ve gone back to writing them done when they pass my way. I’m also back to jotting down funny things I see in stories, and thinking of ways to tweak it to be fresh or interesting…

Like the words “you’re the expert.” There are so many ways that can be said and twisted, and I wrote it down in hopes of finding all those ways.

Other than that, things remain calm and grey.

I really do want to get the rush of writing again. That heady feeling when the pages are working and the plot’s cooperating and you’re finding fantastic lines…I really miss that.

S.A.D. Day: 3

2010-12-14T12:31:00.001-07:00

Thanks to everyone who's been emailing. I didn't realize how many people struggle with S.A.D/Winter Blues.

I woke up yesterday morning and realized that my life was seriously out of whack if the thought of taking time off created so much anxiety. So, I thought I'd man up (as much as a woman ever can :P) and really give it my best shot at relaxing...or at least, to not worry about deadlines, due dates, unfinished manuscripts, agents, classes, outlines, lesson plans, anthologies, newspapers, students, etc.

I did some baking...made Cajun macaroons (which is what happens when you forget you left cookies in the oven). Thanks to the quick thinking of author Johanna Riley, I was able save them (she suggested cutting off the burnt sections and dunking the cookies in melted chocolate). I also danced with the dogs (I would have sang to them, but the last time I tried, Milo ran under the bed and it took three snausages to get him out). I also tried watching daytime television, but I figured I was depressed enough. :P Baahahaahaa.

Today...I'm going to the library to walk around the stacks. I haven't done that in a long time. Usually I browse the online catalog and order in, but the always brilliant Nina Davies suggested doing something I wouldn't normally do. Hence the trip. I figure walking around books might find me some new authors and remind me what it is to be a reader...

And I wonder if that's part of my winter blues. The past few months, I've only read for research. Elle Lothlorien's The Frog Prince has been waiting for me, and I'm always so happy to lose myself in the pages (it's a dead funny book), but I'll be snookered if I can remember the last time I gave myself time to *gasp* read for pleasure.

Read for pleasure.

It sounds wrong. Decadent. Hedonistic.

Which is probably why I'm going to spend the next few days doing it.

I just really do wonder if the fact that I've been so hard core with working and writing has made me the poster child for "all work and no play makes Brown a neurotic mess."

I also wonder if, by planing the time off, I'm actually helping myself. Spontaneous free time freaks me out, but planning different things to do (like make popcorn and have a Columbo fest) has actually been fun. I'm looking forward to doing that on Wednesday.

Thursday and Friday are looming, but I'll figure out what to do, later.

In the meantime, I found this video that seems to the perfect conversation between S.A.D. and the person with the disorder.

Guest Post

2010-12-14T06:24:00.001-07:00

Literarily Speaking, talking about grandma and her fondness for Irish Cream.

This Isn’t Going to Work

2010-12-12T19:23:00.001-07:00

So, given the recent downturn in my energy, etc., couple that with a really busy past couple of months, and I thought, “maybe I should take December off.”

December is never a great month for me. It’s dark all the time, no sunlight, cold, dry, –45 wind chills, and I figure pushing myself may not be the best idea.

I mean, I get the whole “push through the pain,” that the personal trainers/gurus yell, but I’ve always had this idea that if my body is in pain (as opposed to “feeling the burn”), I’m probably doing something I shouldn’t.

Plus, the benefit of being best friends with a retired C.E.O, is first hand experience of what happens when a person is too Type A and not enough Type R (Relax). I really don’t want a heart attack, stroke, or to know my family/friends as “those people I send Christmas cards to.”

So, it seemed logical: take time off. Fight the bug, fight the blues. Return in January.

Yeah.

Right.

I’ve wondered around the house like a flippin’ wraith. Relaxing is AWESOME after a day of hard work. Relaxing "just because” is a special kind of torture. I keep thinking of lesson plans, outlines, sample pages, research.

This just isn’t going to work. I think I’m going to do more damage trying to relax than not. But at the same time (because I’m a total neurotic) I feel like if I don’t relax, go back to work, that’s even worse.

What the heck am I going to do?

Is there a happy medium in any of this?

It’s all so S.A.D.

2010-12-12T19:10:00.001-07:00

Seasonal Affective Disorder hits just about everyone in the north. For the past few weeks, there’s been nothing but grey sky, white/grey snow, and the monochromatic landscape has finally gotten to me.

Nothing huge or serious, but there are some signs that tell me, I really need the winter solstice to come, then go, so daylight will come back:

1) I’m pigging out on chocolate. It’s like I can’t get enough happy hormones.

2) I actually slammed back 3 cokes. Usually, I’m a 1/2 a can-a-day kind of girl. I can only chalk it up to a hibernation thing. I think my body wants sugar and fat, so it can go sleep for the next three months.

3) Craving daylight. I can’t be anywhere but the living and family rooms, because they get the most daylight.

There’s probably more signs…loss of energy, etc., but those are the big ones—especially the pop. I’m so not a big drinker…

Things That Make Me Squeal #13

2010-12-10T18:25:00.001-07:00

Getting an email from a reader/reviewer who said she liked the book so much, she read it all over again, instead of the other books on her list. *insert squeal of delight*

5 Stars for Ethan's Chase!

2010-12-10T06:43:00.000-07:00

Ashley's Bookshelf: Ethan's Chase by Bronwyn Storm:
I started it then just couldn't put it down! It was a quick, fast paced read!

Where to Find Me Today

2010-12-09T12:19:00.001-07:00

I’m guest blogging at The Book Faery and at Beyond the Book.

Things I Didn’t Want to Do Today

2010-12-07T08:54:00.001-07:00

Spend two hours trying to fix my anti-virus

Darwin Award #45

2010-12-06T12:29:00.001-07:00

Wondering why my foot is killing me, then realizing (after 3 hours of wearing it) that the sock is too tight and cutting off my circulation.

Cozy Reader Gives Ethan's Chase 4 Stars

2010-12-06T06:42:00.002-07:00

A Cozy Reader's Corner Reviews: Ethan’s Chase:
The novel was easy to read and get lost in...It has charm and steamy scenes in all the right places.

Woe…Wednesday

2010-12-01T15:17:00.001-07:00

Seriously, if I hear one more zen-new-age chanting song, heads are going to roll…

Thank God for Friends

2010-12-01T08:25:00.001-07:00

See, this is why writers need other writers in their lives. Just got a manuscript back from my editor, with some serious edits.

Sigh.

I’ve been worrying that I’m overly descriptive. Now, it seems that I’ve gone too much in the opposite direction.

I’ve got loads o’ work ahead of me. And it’s another task on an already full “to-do” list.

But thank goodness for [writing] friends who kick me in the ass at the same time they pat me on the head and give me a hug. “Suck it up, princess. It’s work. It’s life. You chose it, but here’s some chocolate to ease the labours.”

Off to make a cuppa, bid goodbye to my bed (have a feeling I won’t be seeing that mattress for a long while), then off to hit the editing ocean.

I Love You a Latte Gets 5 Stars!

2010-11-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

I read it in one sitting and went to bed with visions in my dreams.
~ Ohio Girl Talks

For the full review, head here.

“Great” Dictionary Definitions #291

2010-11-29T16:58:00.001-07:00

Occidentalize: to make occidental.

Grr, Song Stuck in My Head

2010-11-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have this song stuck in my head...and I just want to know where's the "Husband and Lovers" version?

The Importance of Words

2010-11-29T11:04:00.001-07:00

Well, that’ll learn me.

Was looking for another word for eating/snacking, and thought of noshing. Not sure how it was spelt, so used “gnosh,” and looked it up.

Thank God I did.

Gnosh is (apparently) another term for semen.

Goodness, wouldn’t that have changed the meaning and intention of my sentence.

Nosh, it is.

When Animals Save You

2010-11-28T19:38:00.001-07:00

The writing, to say the least, has not been going well. Loads of reasons (maybe): not disciplined enough, this isn’t the book to write right now; plot is wrong; tone is wrong; it’s the end of the year and I’m exhausted.

Who knows?

Decided I was crossing the line from discipline into self-torture and took a break. Crashed out on the couch with my ipod, Gus at my feet, Milo tucked in beside me.

And I have to ask, what is it about a furry body that just makes everything better? Is it the way their breaths expand and contract those precious, tiny ribcages? The way their beautiful hearts beat and reverberate against your rib cage? The way they snuffle and sigh?

I’m lying there, all kinds of bizarre thoughts in my head, and suddenly, the thoughts are gone and all I hear is Milo’s breathing. Then he raises his head, looks at me and drops his snout on my chest, his furry head now embedded under my arm.

And I laugh and I think, what am I fretting about?

In the grand scheme of my life, if this book doesn’t write itself in three days, will my existence be over?

I mean, I’m lying here with a dog who thinks the world revolves around me, who smiles every time he sees me. I’ve got a cat at my feet who does this little happy, sideways canter whenever I come home.

My guys.

My boys.

One abandoned in a box when he was two months old, and left to die in a park (Remus), one surrendered by his family because they couldn’t afford his vet care (Gus), two slated to die by drowning at the hands of a farmer (Milo & Murphy), and yet, here we all are.

They no longer know fear. They sleep, content that they will be cared for and loved, knowing we protect and love them.

Are there things bigger in this world than our jobs? Could it be that caring for those around us, seeing the look in the eyes of the ones we love—that look that says, “I’m happy to be with you. I’m content in this life of ours. I trust you. I love you,” could possibly be what life is truly all about?

I suspect so.

The writing isn’t going well. I may have to miss a deadline (self-imposed) or I may (once again) be left staring at page one for the hundredth time…but when I look at my boys, I realize, I’m okay with that…

Photos from the Book Signing

2010-11-28T15:31:00.001-07:00

Was joined by the always fun and zany Rosemarie Boll and Hal Friesen.

It was awesomely good. Of course, hanging around with those two makes anything fun. We signed a few books, got caught holding hands:

We also met loads of wonderful people (and a few very odd ones, too). Toss in some yummy beverages from Starbucks, and we’ve got a yearly tradition.

Thanks to Chapters Strathcona for hosting us.

Quote of the Week

2010-11-28T14:59:00.001-07:00

Vision without action is a daydream.

~Anon.

My Interview with Review From Here

2010-11-26T10:08:00.001-07:00

Head to http://reviewfromhere.com/2010/11/26/interview-with-bronwyn-storm-author-of-ethans-chase/ to find out that you can dress me up, you just can’t take me out…

The Urge to Cheat

2010-11-25T14:57:00.001-07:00

Here I am, again, in the same spot I always find myself in when I write a new story. I’m four chapters in, haven’t nailed the main character’s voice, and the excitement and desire I had when starting the book has gone from a raging fire to a pile of smoldering debris.

And the urge to cheat—to pick up another story and put this down, is enormous. Another story seems…sexier, more interesting, and certainly, a lot easier to manage than this one.

Which is a lie, of course. It’s a quiet delusion.

But danged if delusions aren’t so much fun to hold to.

This book is driving me crazy.

I can see the scenes, the plot, the push and pull of the characters. What I CAN’T see is the heroine’s voice. I can’t get a handle on her. Truth be told all my female characters emerge shrill and with large chips on their shoulders, so this shouldn’t bother me.

Of course it does.

Of course I’m ready to fall on my sword because the first draft isn’t the perfect drat.

It’s so bad, the animals have retreated from the study and my husband won’t make eye contact.

I’m praying it gets better because I don’t want to lose this manuscript, but I really wish she’d hurry up and talk so I can get a clear read on her voice.

Ethan’s Chase Gets 4 Stars

2010-11-24T15:05:00.001-07:00

[This book] is absolutely perfect for a middle of the week book to release some stress from your busy week.

~A Moment with Mystee Review

For the full review, go here.

Ethan’s Chase Review

2010-11-22T10:21:00.001-07:00

From Confessions of an Overworked Mom:

I really loved the characters in this book because they're so much like real people. They get tongue tied, embarrassed and spill things. They forget what they're saying and knock things over. Best of all, they make you laugh. Toss in a little bit of suspense with an elusive stalker and you have an all around great read that manages to combine comedy, romance and suspense all in one book.

Too Good to Eat

2010-11-19T22:34:00.001-07:00

So, everyone knows the main reasons you work in a school are:

You have an addiction to paper, pens, and the smell of mass-photocopies.
The holidays during summer.
The treats

Thanks so much to Miss K for sharing her super cool Cookie Monster cupcake—almost too good looking to eat! Happy Birthday, K!!!

Today’s Visit

2010-11-19T05:24:00.001-07:00

Whhooo!!

It’s Friday, and after skating on the roads with my car, I’m sssooo ready for a couple of days off!

My interview is up and running at The Writer’s Life, and I’m up and running for the weekend!

Today’s Visit: Working Writers

2010-11-18T08:31:00.001-07:00

http://workingwritersandbloggers.com/2010/11/18/interview-bronwyn-storm/

Today’s Visit

2010-11-17T08:22:00.001-07:00

http://www.fantasy-pages.blogspot.com/ I’m over at Denyse’s blog, talking about why I became a writer.

Interview…with a warning…

2010-11-14T11:07:00.001-07:00

Hee hee.

My interview at Blogcritics is up and running…but if you Google the blog & my name, on the preview, it says: “If you are not laughing and simply adoring this woman after reading her interview, I will slap you silly!”

Not that I encourage violence, but super cool that April liked the interview enough to threaten people!

Guest Interview

2010-11-12T13:19:00.001-07:00

Snicker. I got to interview myself over at SOS Aloha blog. Take a look and enter for your chance to win a copy of Ethan’s Chase.

Ohio Girl Gives Ethan's Chase 5 Stars!

2010-11-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

Ohio Girl Talk's: Browyn Storm's new book Ethan's Chase Virtual Book...

Remembrance day song Soldiers Cry

2010-11-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Guest Post

2010-11-10T12:56:00.001-07:00

I’m over at Literarily Speaking, “What I Really Needed to Know, I Learned From Romance.”

Review for Ethan’s Chase

2010-11-09T11:33:00.001-07:00

If you like a steamy romantic story with a bit of kick, I highly recommend checking out Ethan's Chase.

For the full review, head to Acting Balanced.

On Tour!

2010-11-02T13:04:00.001-06:00

As the Pages Turn

Pump Up Your Book

Talking Virtual Tours

Suddenly…

2010-10-27T18:03:00.001-06:00

I was driving to the grocery story today, when I realized that in two years, my ex is going to be middle-aged.

Stopped me cold.

I don’t feel “older” and I certainly don’t mind aging, but HOLY CRAP, really?! Middle-aged?!

Just yesterday, we were in our 20s, pushing and pulling against each other as we tried to define love, interdependency, trust, and responsibility. Suddenly, he’s in his 40s, with balding, greying hair and love handles (snicker…I hope… ).

When I think about the stories left to write, waiting to be edited, the days seem to drag…how then, could have 10+ years have gone by so quickly?

Just Saying…

2010-10-24T18:21:00.001-06:00

When you have chocolate, everything seems a little better…

Be a Dog

2010-10-24T18:19:00.001-06:00

I’ve come to the conclusion that to be truly happy, I need to channel my inner-dog.

Not kidding.

Between brain blocks, allergies, and the flu, it’s been a “There’s got to be a pony in here” couple of weeks.

If you don’t know the story, here it is (courtesy of http://buddychai.com/Stories/Stories3.html ):

There is a story of identical twins. One was a hope-filled optimist. "Everything is coming up roses!" he would say. The other twin was a sad and hopeless pessimist. He thought that Murphy, as in Murphy's Law, was an optimist. The worried parents of the boys brought them to the local psychologist.

He suggested to the parents a plan to balance the twins' personalities. "On their next birthday, put them in separate rooms to open their gifts. Give the pessimist the best toys you can afford, and give the optimist a box of manure." The parents followed these instructions and carefully observed the results.

When they peeked in on the pessimist, they heard him audibly complaining, "I don't like the color of this computer . . I'll bet this calculator will break . . . I don't like the game . . . I know someone who's got a bigger toy car than this . . ."

Tiptoeing across the corridor, the parents peeked in and saw their little optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. He was giggling. "You can't fool me, where there's this much manure, there's gotta be a pony."

Anyway, as I’ve spent my days flinging manure (when not flinging tissue paper or curse words), I had a chance to notice the furry ones, specifically, Murphy.

Every time I go into the kitchen, he follows. Now, granted, he follows everywhere, but there’s really something about the kitchen. If G.T. or I are in there for any length of time, Murphy’s there, sitting by the dishwasher.

I know why he’s there.

Food.

He sits and waits and hopes he’ll get some cheese or a nugget of meat, or a puppy treat.

The interesting thing is that this rarely happens. Maybe 2 or 3 times out of 10.

Doesn’t matter.

He’s still there, sitting, hoping.

And the crazy thing is that once I realized that was why he was coming, I’ve started handing out more yummies.

But he’s got me wondering how often I hope and wait.

Not often, not in the past couple of weeks. These few days have been full of me focusing on all the times I DIDN’T get a yummy.

Gotta say. Not the best use of my time.

So, I think I’m going to practice some Murphy-isms.

1) Start hoping.

2) Not get pissed if I go into the “kitchen” and get nothing.

3) Be grateful when I do get something yummy.

In other words, I gotta be more Zen-Doggy, y’know?

Quote of the Week

2010-10-18T17:50:00.001-06:00

Actually, it’s quoteS of the week…hit with a wicked cough/cold/flu thing and the idea of persevering when all I really want to do is wear flannel and hide under goose down is enormous…so I figure, I’ll pump the vitamin C and inspirational quotes…

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. ~Author Unknown

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
~Author Unknown

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs.

Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. ~Dale Carnegie

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. ~Author Unknown

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. ~Josh Billings

Is It Just Me?

2010-10-13T11:43:00.001-06:00

That gets annoyed with that pop up ad that talks about the “single, unemployed mom who makes $6000/month?” Uh…maybe it’s just me, but if you’re making money, then how can you be considered unemployed?

Quote for the Week

2010-10-04T12:04:00.001-06:00

Write your first draft with your heart. Re-write with your head.

~ From the movie Finding Forrester

In the Winter, I Wonder About the Land

2010-09-27T20:41:00.001-06:00

Have you ever been caught in an odd situation where the only thing you wanted to do was leave, but you had to stay?

Sort of like the time I was heading to meet some friends for lunch. It was winter, the roads were iced over, and as I turned out of my street, I saw an older lady standing beside her car. She’d lost control of the vehicle and had slid off the road and now the car was wedged, partly on the road, partly on the boulevard, partly on a guy’s driveway.

I stopped to see if I could lend a hand (or phone)…and then I realized this woman was a hydraulic lift short of tow truck. She wore cashmere and wool, and had never seen the working end of a toilet brush…and she had this way of talking that wasn’t really talking as much as it was “giving orders to keep the serfs busy.” She was convinced the car had to be yanked out, which I agreed with, but she didn’t want to use my phone to call a tow truck.

Nope.

She wanted to flag down a passing motorist and get him (emphasis on “him.” She did not think a woman could do anything to rectify her situation…which was so wrong. I could think of a million ways to fix it, unfortunately, many of those ways involved her, a shovel, and a body bag).

So, I’m trying to convince her that the tow truck driver will be a man when she decides she’s had enough talk, damn it, and it’s time to leap into action. And. I. Mean. Leap. She stretches her legs and vaults on to the ice-laden streets in a ballet move that would have secured her the prima donna spot in the National Ballet of Canada Company. Then she barrels into the middle of oncoming traffic and tries to flag down the car speeding towards her.

The driver—a look of pure terror on his face—swerves out of the way, and I think, “I better had stay, because someone is going to have to call 9-1-1, and back up the driver when he tries to explain why there’s a splattered old lady on his windshield.”

Now, she’s back, puffed up with indignation at the callous disregard of a man when facing two women in crisis. (I refrained from pointing out that my car wasn’t ditched, thank you very much, and my only crisis was how to get myself out of the situation without her pulling a T.J. Hooker and jumping on my windshield).

After three or four attempts where she dives into the middle of the road and I start dialing the paramedics, she flags down a guy.

And what a guy. Buddy steps out of the car and I can hear the angels sing. He’s average height with dark, curly hair, olive skin, black eyes, and he must be in some kind of construction, because his jeans are worn and faded, and Good Lord, does he do a great job of filling them out.

And I’m deeply offended by all this.

If the rolls were reversed, no way some dark demi-god would stop for me. No, sir. I’d get the guy whose missing his front teeth, whose mom is also his sister, and who knows squat about rescuing a ditched car, but who would offer to, “Get into the backseat and fog up dem windahs and keep you warm, little lady.” And with my luck, he’d probably have his banjo on hand to serenade me.

And not only is Mr. Straight From a Romance Book gorgeous, he’s amiable, sweet, and completely willing to help…until, he too realizes Miss Crazy is a hydraulic lift short of a tow truck.

She starts giving him directions on how to get the car out, oblivious to the fact that as the person who ditched it, she may not be the best expert on vehicle maneuvering.

He glances at me. I’m quick to inform him that I don’t actually know her. I just stopped to help. Our eyes meet and we have a moment, where everything we want to say about the lunacy of the entire situation is communicated.

Romance, his patience waning, but sticking to his commitment gets in the car and prepares to move it. Miss Crazy, however, is standing right beside the car’s back bumper.

He asks her to move.

She refuses, saying, “I need to stand her to direct you.”

He and I share another moment.

I try to pull her aside, but she’s not moving. I, however, move to a safe distance where I can watch. I’ve already dialed 9 and 1, now I’m just waiting to see if I need to dial the other 1.

Romance, proving he really was ripped from some woman’s fantasy, manages to dislodge the car, while Miss Crazy is standing beside it, and piles of garbage block the other side.

Is Miss Crazy happy?

Of course not. She’s crazy.

It’s not enough that he’s moved the car. She demands he straighten and set it just so on the road.

He does. Then, he springs out of her car and basically starts running for his own. I’m not about to be left alone with this woman, so I turn and start running for my car.

We are both stopped by an ear-splitting screech.

Miss Crazy wants to thank him and pay him for his help.

Pay him how, you ask?

With a hug.

I’m not kidding.

He turns and stares at me. His eyes are wide and all I can see is the white.

“Come on, come on,” she encourages him with a big smile, like she think he’s being shy.

This poor man. His muscles are so tight and stiff, he’s lost all lines and angles. He just looks like a board of wood (a sexy board of wood, but still). She wraps her arms around him (I, once again, curse Fate and hear the distant sounds of banjo music). He stands there, looking at me like somehow I can save him.

And listen, most times, I’m all about wading in to save a soul.

Not this time.

Because I know when she’s done with him, she’s coming for me.

I’m booking it to my car, but danged if she doesn’t scream faster and louder than I can run. So, I have to stand and take in the hug, and the perfume, and the fake fur thing that’s right in my eye and making it water and burn.

As soon as she lets me go, I’m in my car and gunning it before she re-ditches herself and I have to help.

Of course it turned out that she lived around the corner from me. So, for the next few years until she—proving God does exist and take pity on humans—moved, I did the duck and turn every time I passed her house.

Who wanted to risk her seeing me, remembering our event, and wanting to not only reunite, but hug?

I Want to Sleep…for a year…

2010-09-27T17:32:00.001-06:00

God, I am SSSOOO tired.

Let’s see, things to do: Interview to finish, Ormsby newspaper to upload, synopsis, blurb, go over lesson #1 (power point, print notes, exercises, location, map), write up follow up for interview, figure out cost effective promotional swag.

Cats and dogs also need teeth brushing, my study looks like something unseemly’s hit it, oh yeah, exercise, tidy the house…

Don’t forget: write short story for the contest, start on new manuscript for editor, finish other manuscript…

Did I mention how badly I’d like to be sleeping…or at least taking a day off?

It’s all good, though…I’m on enough chocolate to put myself into some kind of diabetic shock, but it’s all working out…uh…should the room spin like that?

Quote for the Week

2010-09-27T17:27:00.001-06:00

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from a few, it's a research paper.

~Anonymous

Awesome!

2010-09-24T20:44:00.002-06:00

Comments from another crit partner, re: What Happens in Vegas:

You are so mean to make such an awesome story that I couldn't put my ereader down! It’s a fantastic story! Yes, laugh out loud funny but not only that, because it's all in Binda's pov it makes her extra relatable because she's thinking all the stuff that the average woman thinks and gets self-conscious over, too....and she stays true to character, being the average woman in an above average situation but not doing the extraordinary but rather the ordinary that makes things extraordinary...does that makes sense. I really liked her...and I loved him LOL

Whew. I think I can start breathing, now. I’ll probably upload the first-six pages so people will know what everyone’s talking about…okay, here you go.

I just have to come up with synopsis and blurb, and I’ll be good to go!

Plots I Hate #35

2010-09-23T12:19:00.001-06:00

Hey, I’m a writer and I know how bloody hard it is to introduce scenery in a story. It’s brutal. You try to be subtle and there are times when we writers have all the subtlety of a guy at a girl’s feet, begging for sex.

So, I’ll forgive the fact the heroine in EVERY SINGLE BOOK of the five-book series walks into a room, DEAD STOPS, and describes the setting.

What I won’t forgive is the author going on about the “woven tapestry rugs” and “velvet curtains” for THREE FREAKIN’ PAGES.

God save me.

Please.

No one needs 750 words of room description.

Best Compliment Ever

2010-09-22T12:26:00.001-06:00

So, when you write romantic comedies, you want your story to hang together, the characters to be dimensional, but most of all, you want to hear this from your critique partners (and later, from readers who purchase your story):

“Holy Hell! I spit my tea out reading the second half of this story (I didn't drink tea through the first half). Too flippin funny!!”

Yee-ha!

The comment is in connection with It Happened in Vegas, and I was ssssoooo worried it wouldn’t be funny.

So far, so good. Got to get in a couple more critiques and then I can send it to my editor.

Whispered Squeal

2010-09-20T15:13:00.001-06:00

So, nothing’s in stone but there are two local opportunities coming my way re: teaching, and I’m SUPER excited! As soon as I have more information, I’ll let you know.

Did I mention I’m really excited? SUPER excited? SUPER DUPER excited? I don’t want to get my hopes up, so no big screaming or victory dances…but I will do a whispered, “eeee!” and maybe a victory wiggle…

Brown's Town

I’ve Moved

Tuesday Technique

Help Toby Hit #1!

Mechanical Monday: Active Verbs

Book Launch–Gail Sidonie Sobat

Friday Furry

Thursday Time

Win a Copy of Sneakers, Sandals & Stilettoes

Technique Tuesday

Mechanical Monday: Spelling of “ing” and “ed” Verbs

Thursday Time

Wednesday Woe: When I Put It Down

Technique Tuesday

Mechanical Monday: Verb Tenses

Ask a Question, Add a Comment, and Win!

Comment and Win!

Give Me Chocolate & Give Me Strength

Why People Hate Romance Books

Interview with Novel Sisterhood

Stand Aside, Taio Cruz

AWESOME!

It Makes Me Feel Weird

Things I’ve Learned

Some Days…

Google Books Amended Settlement Agreement Rejected

According to Chapters…

Keep Your Tail Up

Ethan’s Chase Gets Four Starts

The Genie’s Curse–Trailer

So…

What the Wha-Wha?

I Feel Good!

Ethan’s Chase Get 4 Stars

How Cool is That?

Of Komodo Dragons and Men

Charles Said it Best

You’re invited!

CAN YOU UNLOCK THE PUZZLE?

PRIZES

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Stop the Insanity

You know You’re in Trouble…

Dear Cell Phone Company,

**Sob**

Join Me

Plots I Hate

You May Need to Call it a Day

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I Think…

Why Do…

Sunday Thoughts

YES!!

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Almost Christmas

Molly’s Reviews Gives Ethan’s Chase 4 Stars!

UnS.A.D: Day 3

S.A.D. Day: 3

Guest Post

This Isn’t Going to Work

It’s all so S.A.D.

Things That Make Me Squeal #13

5 Stars for Ethan's Chase!

Where to Find Me Today

Things I Didn’t Want to Do Today

Darwin Award #45

Cozy Reader Gives Ethan's Chase 4 Stars

Woe…Wednesday

Thank God for Friends

I Love You a Latte Gets 5 Stars!

“Great” Dictionary Definitions #291

Grr, Song Stuck in My Head

The Importance of Words

When Animals Save You

Photos from the Book Signing

Quote of the Week

My Interview with Review From Here

The Urge to Cheat

Sob